On the topic of dating…

January 11, 2009

Rant time! Sorry, I can’t help them sometimes.

So you know I have a love/hate thing with fans, particularly those of ‘idol groups’ and this is why…

….now I appreciate that they care about these people and it warms my heart to see how hard they try to show their support and appreciation for that person or group’s hard work BUT that does not give any of us fans rights to that person or group or allow us to have any say in their personal lives. Look I get that you love and admire this person and sure, it would be wonderful if you could have him or her to yourself – I myself am constantly proclaiming my love for Onew and Jonghyun as some of you well know – BUT that’s probably not going to happen. You’ll probably never even get to meet these people one-on-one, let alone go on a date with them! That’s why celebrities date other celebrities – because those are the people they’re around on a daily basis.

Please try to understand how difficult it is for celebrities, and K-pop ones in particular with their ridiculously packed schedules, to even try to have some sort of personal life. They barely have time to see their friends and family, let alone to date people so if they start dating someone in their company or something, let.it.go. You don’t have any right to tell them who to date, just like how they wouldn’t come and tell you not to date that cute boy or girl in your class so please fans, try to relax. Now I know that seeing the celebrity you like with someone is hard and it’s frustrating and it can make you very sad but please, please try to keep your freak outs to a minimum. Rant about it on Soompi, on your blog, on someone else’s blog, to your friends, cry or whatever you have to do to deal with it but please do not take this out on the people involved – it is not your business and if so and so wants to date so and so (or are even seen together), you need to just accept it and move on. It’s hard but you can do it. Please don’t go to the person’s cyworld or minihompy or official website and bash them or threaten them or insult them, okay? Because that person that you claim to love so much, you hurt them when you do things like that because you’re hurting someone they care about.

Please understand that when you love someone, it means you want them to be happy so if being with a particular person is going to make them happy, then you should just suck it up and let them be – and even if they break up on a bad note, that still does not give you the right to insult the person’s ex or tell them off because in this case, it is really not your business and that celebrity does not need you, their fan, to fight their battles for them. They just want you to listen to their songs and buy their cds and merchandise and cheer for them when they come on-stage, okay? So please fans, relax, just relax. Just…relax~

Hmm, this post was prompted by a lot of different things, one of the main ones being my learning that apparently Kangin fans have posted comments on YoonJi (his WGM partner)’s cyworld page telling her to keep skinship to a minimum and stuff like that. Well, that’s all I heard that they said but I think it must have really made an impression on her because when I watched their second episode together, episode 40, there was a part where he wanted to carry her up the stairs to get into their new house and she was so against it. And his response was “Oh, don’t worry, I left a comment on my page telling my fans not to worry, that oppa would still be there for them’. And I was like “WHAT?!!!! You shouldn’t have to do that!” He should not have to do that, people, he should not! And when she finally agreed to it, she actually looked at the camera and said “Everyone, this isn’t my doing.” Dude! The woman is like scared! She should not have to be worried about offending his fans, okay? Oh man, I really hope people leave her alone – she’s so nice and down-to-earth and while I think she and Kangin have realy good chemistry, I doubt anything will happen between them in real life (but even if it did, so what?) Judging from his behaviour on the show, I really think Kangin wants a girlfriend – he’s so attentive and mushy, telling everybody she’s his wife. You see guys – he’s lonely~ Do you want him to be lonely? I’m sure you don’t…and if he’s not gonna be with you, then he should be with the next best person, right? And YoonJi is so nice! Like how could anyone dislike her? Ugh, and that’s just one example – don’t even get me started on that whole Jaejoong/his co-star woman who’s name I don’t know ‘scandal’ because it’s so unimportant that it doesn’t even deserve to be talked about. And people are acting like this is news! It’s not news, it’s not even a big deal – the man is having fun. He’s an adult male and he needs some fun, in fact, he deserves some fun, considering that he has to work like a dog for 360 days of the year! Oh!

Now you know, this isn’t all on the fans because I do think that the management companies have a lot to do with it because they allow fans to feel like they have a certain amount of power and control by discouraging ‘idols’ from dating publicly and whatnot and that just spills over into the whole ‘management companies have way too much control over their artists’ lives” issue but that’s a topic for another day. My point is that all these fans need to just chillax. (And no, I’m not from seoulbeats, although I do pop over there once in awhile) Artists are people too, they deserve to have personal lives just like you and me and their personal lives need to be able to be kept private. I don’t need to see sneaky camera phone pictures of so and so canoodling with so and so behind a car in a parking lot somewhere, okay? I do not need to know this and most importantly, you do not need to know this. It is not enriching your life in any way, it is not. So please – keep that in mind as you go about your fangirling duties. Please?

And now that I’ve got all that out, I’ll get to what I really meant to say when I decided to do this post. I actually got the idea while I was writing up my previous post about SNSD’s comeback performance on Music Core and I was thinking about Seohyun and how sweet and kind and gentle and shy she is and I was just like “OMG! She would be so perfect for Minho. OMG!” (SNSD haters leave now, I will delete your comments so don’t even bother) No, really though – I mean, they’re around the same age and they have similar temperaments, you know they’re both shy, reserved, calm and a little awkward – can you imagine how adorable the two of them would be together?! OMG, THEY WOULD BE SO ADORABLE AND CUTE AND AWKWARD AND OMG, THE AWKWARD WOULD BE SO CUTE! It would be just like when Minho went on his date with the noona in episode 8 and she was all shy and they were all shy and awkward and sweet together and it was only the sweetest thing ever except that this would be even better because they’re around the same age and she wouldn’t be a noona and I think they’d probably be even more shy (or maybe less because they might know each other well already? IDK.) But anyway, yes, they would be adorable together and they totally have my blessing to get together (not that they need it – because I am just a fan and this is so not my business and probably never going to happen anyway) but Seohyun is just the kind of sweet, talented, down-to-earth, nice girl that I want my boys to end up with. I just want them to have nice girls, that’s all. Is that so much to ask for?

As for Taemin, LOL, well, I’ve had him paired up with SoHee in my mind ever since I saw the two of them because they were my first two k-pop cuties and I thought they were the most adorable kids on the planet and I still think so and hello! Can you imagine how we would all die from the cute the two of them would radiate if they were together? Ugh, I can barely stand the cute when they’re alone. But this is all for when they’re older though because they’re so not ready for that now (and we all know that Taemin’s not interested in girls yet anyway). And LOL at the fact that despite everything, SoHee’s still his noona. Hmm, I’m still looking for a girl for Onew – this one has to be perfect since she’s going to be taking care of my would-be husband until he can meet me , of course (I’m joking, I’m joking – relax) but more importantly, because Onew is the sweetest, nicest, smiliest guy on the planet and he deserves only the best. Hmm, I think I’m sounding like the people I was just ranting about – well ultimately, I want him to find a nice girl, okay – one who will really take care of him. He needs to be protected and nurtured and cared for and I could do that… *crying*

As for Key, dude, I would just be so happy if Key got a girlfriend, any girl’s okay, just once – it’s a girl. Seriously, I think I’d cry tears of joy. (Sorry Soojinnie.) Oh, and as for Bling…..aigoo, the day he gets a girlfriend, it’ll break my heart – BUT when I get over it (in a day or two), I will be happy for him and most importantly, I will not over-react and want to kill that girl. I might be super envious of her, I might glare at her picture for a few minutes or an hour but I would not wish anything bad on her. Because at the end of the day, five or so years down the line, God willing, I don’t want the boys (except maybe Taemin since he’s kind of young) to have never had any dating experience – cause Yunhanam so doesn’t count – I want to know that they were able to experience that. It’s an important part of life and it would sadden me to know that they’d miss out on that because they were working non-stop but more so, because of us, the fans and out of fear of how we would react. It would really, really depress me to see SHINee World get a bad rap for that kind of thing, you know – I want us to always be seen as sane or as sane as a group of fangirls can get anyway.

Anyway, thank you for reading. Was it really so interesting that you reached the end? Well, since you got all the way here – here’s a little bonus for you: it’s the audio and translations of SHINee’s messages to their future girlfriends (lucky chicitas!) and it’s only the sweetest thing ever and it just kills me that there’s no video for it. Although that’s a good thing – I may not have survived seeing it as well as hearing it…

Anyway, have a nice day!




  1. haha… nice article! i think artists neeeds to have their privacy too, they need to date and have partners… fans sometimes are abit immature by hating their partners or the person that they are close to…i mean, i pity DBSK… they are on their 20s and still single… i’m happy when their happy, so i hope all fans will be too…

  2. Totally get what you’re saying. :]
    I’m like one of the biggest Kangin fans, but seriously, some fans are just mean and/or crazy.

  3. kpoplover13

    Thank you! Yes, it’s a pity all fans can’t think like you. We should just try to allow artists to have as much privacy as they can get, you know?


    Oh, Kangin’s a sweetheart. ❤ I’m only now starting to see it. At least he has nice fans like you who just want him to be happy!

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